Sasha while watching a contemporary routine on So You Think You Can Dance:
I wanna learn to run like that and dance like that and jump like that and be like that.
Showing posts with label The girl. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The girl. Show all posts
Monday, June 21, 2010
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Three
Three. How is it that you are three years old now? How is it that it has already been three years since my dream of having a daughter came true? How?
My sweet baby girl. You challenge me in more ways than I can count. You are so stubborn that it shocks even me. You are so beautiful that you take my breath away on a regular basis. You’re smart, witty, amazing. You look at me with those big eyes and the world melts away. I am in awe of how self-assured you are at the age of 3. I wish I could have just one hundredth of that confidence.
You had a tough act to follow, being Dylan’s little sister. Such an amazing role model to look up to. But man do you hold your own. You’re tough as nails, kiddo. You give us a run for our money every day. I can’t imagine you any other way.
In the last three years I have learned what it meant to be a mom to a daughter. To start to truly understand how special that bond is for a mom. My hopes and dreams for you are the same as for your brother. Love. Success – as you define it. Happiness. What I wouldn’t give to ensure your happiness. But, unfortunately, it will be out of my hands.
What I can do is this. I promise to support your dreams. To love you when you feel unlovable. To love you when I don’t like you. To hug you harder when you try to pull away. To let you go when you need explore. To welcome you back when you are ready. To pick you up when you fall. To put the pieces back together when you fall apart. To love you.
My sweet baby girl. You challenge me in more ways than I can count. You are so stubborn that it shocks even me. You are so beautiful that you take my breath away on a regular basis. You’re smart, witty, amazing. You look at me with those big eyes and the world melts away. I am in awe of how self-assured you are at the age of 3. I wish I could have just one hundredth of that confidence.
You had a tough act to follow, being Dylan’s little sister. Such an amazing role model to look up to. But man do you hold your own. You’re tough as nails, kiddo. You give us a run for our money every day. I can’t imagine you any other way.
In the last three years I have learned what it meant to be a mom to a daughter. To start to truly understand how special that bond is for a mom. My hopes and dreams for you are the same as for your brother. Love. Success – as you define it. Happiness. What I wouldn’t give to ensure your happiness. But, unfortunately, it will be out of my hands.
What I can do is this. I promise to support your dreams. To love you when you feel unlovable. To love you when I don’t like you. To hug you harder when you try to pull away. To let you go when you need explore. To welcome you back when you are ready. To pick you up when you fall. To put the pieces back together when you fall apart. To love you.
Tuesday, March 02, 2010
The Laundry Song
we washin' the clothes we cleanin' the clothes. we washin' the waundwy.
Repeat times infinity.
Repeat times infinity.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Fashionista
Sasha likes dresses. Not just any dresses, party dresses. They must twirl, too.
Since her party dresses tend to be on the pricey side, we aren't big fans of her wearing them to day care where she frequently sits in the dirt. The dresses are mainly reserved for weekend wear. Last weekend I decided she WOULD wear some cute capri pants and the matching T. We'd had the outfit all summer and I love it. After wrestling the outfit on to her, Sasha proceeded to throw a tantrum. Foot stomping, tears streaming tantrum. During said tantrum she said the following:
I don't wuv it! It's too plain!!! Let's do pink!!!
This mantra was repeated a number of times. "Pink" is her favorite little party dress. She finally let up and wore the pants. Oye.
The week before she took a look at the top she was wearing and proclaimed: I don't yike this. This is not good fo' Sasha.
God help me in 10 years.
Since her party dresses tend to be on the pricey side, we aren't big fans of her wearing them to day care where she frequently sits in the dirt. The dresses are mainly reserved for weekend wear. Last weekend I decided she WOULD wear some cute capri pants and the matching T. We'd had the outfit all summer and I love it. After wrestling the outfit on to her, Sasha proceeded to throw a tantrum. Foot stomping, tears streaming tantrum. During said tantrum she said the following:
I don't wuv it! It's too plain!!! Let's do pink!!!
This mantra was repeated a number of times. "Pink" is her favorite little party dress. She finally let up and wore the pants. Oye.
The week before she took a look at the top she was wearing and proclaimed: I don't yike this. This is not good fo' Sasha.
God help me in 10 years.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
2 years
Dearest Sasha,
Today you are 2. According to Baby Center, you are now a preschooler. Of course, I still call you the baby. My dear, sweet baby girl. The baby girl I wanted so much I was afraid to voice it just in case I had a boy.
In the past 2 years you have brought so much into our lives. I have smiled endlessly, cried tears of joy, tears of pain, tears of frustration. I have been filled with pride. You are smart, beautiful, charismatic, happy and just all around yummy. I can't imagine our world without you. I can't imagine not being a mother to a daughter. My oh so girly daughter. You like your toes painted and your fingernails painted. You like your hair done. You like doing my hair. You like playing with make-up. And you like being the boss. Oh how you like being the boss. I can only imagine the joy you will continue to bring into all our lives.
I hope you realize all your dreams, my love. I hope you will have a remarkable friendship with your brother. I hope we become the best of friends as well as mother and daughter. I love you, baby girl. Sleepless nights and all. I wouldn't trade it for the world.
Love,
Mama
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Monday, February 16, 2009
21-months
The baby girl is 21-months-old today. It's hard to believe it's been almost 2 years. It's hard to believe the crying, squirming little nugget we brought home from hospital is now a little person. A little person who wears pigtails, has opinions on everything from what to eat to what to wear, likes to have her nails painted, speaks in sentences, hams it up for the camera and does a million other things. She cracks me up daily with constant singing. She adores her big brother more than words can possibly express and charms every single person with whom she makes eye contact in a way I have only seen her brother do before. She's just so amazing. And I can't imagine a greater grace in my life than seeing my children interact. Seeing them love and seeing them learn.
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Friday, November 02, 2007
Do they make coffee IVs?
Apparently, Sasha has yet to recieve the memo that sleeping through the night is perfectly appropriate behavior for a 5.5 month-old. I can't take it. Even on the nights I don't end up feeding her she still wakes up at least once for a pacifier. in the 5.5 months she has been alive I have had approximately 5 nights where I have slept through the night. And, even those night, I usually wake up at 6 to go pump before my boobs explode. I don't know how much longer I can go on like this. She eats. and eats. and eats.
She gets three 7 ounce bottles of breast milk a day at daycare along with a morning and before bed nursing session. She now eats a fair amount of cereal before the last nursing of the day as well. And she still thinks she needs to eat at night. I'm sorry baby girl, but you weigh 19 pounds and are only 5.5 months old. I don't think you need to eat at night. Not that I think my baby needs a diet or anything completely inane like that, but really, she should be able to last the night.
In the meantime, I have been walking around in such a fog that it's a wonder I make it through my days. I never feel like I am giving the proper amount of attention to anyone or anything. I just want to be able to give 100% to SOMETHING OR SOMEONE for even 1 day. Is that really too much to ask?
She gets three 7 ounce bottles of breast milk a day at daycare along with a morning and before bed nursing session. She now eats a fair amount of cereal before the last nursing of the day as well. And she still thinks she needs to eat at night. I'm sorry baby girl, but you weigh 19 pounds and are only 5.5 months old. I don't think you need to eat at night. Not that I think my baby needs a diet or anything completely inane like that, but really, she should be able to last the night.
In the meantime, I have been walking around in such a fog that it's a wonder I make it through my days. I never feel like I am giving the proper amount of attention to anyone or anything. I just want to be able to give 100% to SOMETHING OR SOMEONE for even 1 day. Is that really too much to ask?
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
Here we go again
Sasha is sick. My instincts told me what was wrong this morning but I was in denial and sent her to daycare anyway. All day long I waited for the call to come get her. The call to hurry it up came at 4:40. We got to my daycare and I took my baby girl in my arms. I gently pushed on her right ear and she winced and cried. That was all I needed to tell me she had an ear infection. We took her to the doctor and it was confirmed. She has an ear infection. I was so hopeful we would escape ear infections with her.
Dylan had 10 ear infections between 3 months and 1 year when he got tubes. It was hell for all of us. I felt terrible for D and that he had to endure so much at such a young age. It always amazed us that he would still sleep through the night even with a double ear infection.
I have decided that with Sasha there will be a 4 ear infection limit. IF she gets a fourth ear infection I will demand a visit to the ENT and demand tubes. She should not have to endure the continued pain of ear infection. I hate myself for not doing this with Dylan but I trusted that it would always be the last one. I won't make that mistake again.
Dylan had 10 ear infections between 3 months and 1 year when he got tubes. It was hell for all of us. I felt terrible for D and that he had to endure so much at such a young age. It always amazed us that he would still sleep through the night even with a double ear infection.
I have decided that with Sasha there will be a 4 ear infection limit. IF she gets a fourth ear infection I will demand a visit to the ENT and demand tubes. She should not have to endure the continued pain of ear infection. I hate myself for not doing this with Dylan but I trusted that it would always be the last one. I won't make that mistake again.
Monday, August 13, 2007
No naps for us
Read the baby books and they tell you to sleep when the baby sleeps. Nap while the baby naps. Use nap time to take time for yourself. That's fantastic advice, but what do you do when the baby doesn't nap, or only naps while being cradled in your arms?
You do:
watch endless hours of bad daytime television because you don't have a book to read and can't get to the bookstore or library to get a new one
occasionally fall asleep while holding the baby
figure out how to both hold the baby and use a laptop at the same time
spend a lot of time sitting on your ass thinking about all the things you could be doing if only the baby would sleep in her crib
You don't:
run errands because the baby hates her car seat and the car
get ANYTHING done
exercise (although let's be honest, I probably wouldn't anyway)
paint the rooms in the house I wanted to paint while on maternity leave (I can paint while the baby sleeps!)
You do:
watch endless hours of bad daytime television because you don't have a book to read and can't get to the bookstore or library to get a new one
occasionally fall asleep while holding the baby
figure out how to both hold the baby and use a laptop at the same time
spend a lot of time sitting on your ass thinking about all the things you could be doing if only the baby would sleep in her crib
You don't:
run errands because the baby hates her car seat and the car
get ANYTHING done
exercise (although let's be honest, I probably wouldn't anyway)
paint the rooms in the house I wanted to paint while on maternity leave (I can paint while the baby sleeps!)
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
4 more weeks
We attended my company picnic tonight and the same question was asked of me over and over again - when are you coming back? The answer is 4 more weeks.
That means I have 4 more weeks of seeing every smile, every tear, every blink and every everything my darling little girl emits.
I'm so torn on how I feel about going back to work. I know I am a better parent and wife when I work. I'm more balanced when I work. I get to go out of mom and wife mode for a little bit and turn into a little bit of different person. But at the same time, I know I will likely miss the first steps with Sasha, just like I did with Dylan. It was heartbreaking when Dave called me one day after picking D up from daycare and told me he had finally taken a couple of steps. I know I might miss the first word.
In 4 weeks I will no longer be there to rock her to sleep for naps and will no longer be there when she wakes up. In 4 weeks I will no longer nurse her throughout the day and feel her skin against mine. I will feel the cold hard plastic of breast pump cones instead. I won't be able to watch those beautiful eyelashes while she eats and watch them flutter in that yummy place between sleep and awake. I will watch the level on the bottle to make sure I pump enough for her to have milk for the next day. I won't get the smiles throughout the day which she gives me when she locks eyes with me. The smiles only I get. She smiles at other people, but those smile are a little bigger and brighter for me. The promise of that smile and the smile of her darling brother will get me through my day.
In 4 weeks I will have to hear about her days rather than live them. I will have to learn about my daughter's new accomplishments from another person rather than experience them myself.
In 4 weeks, I will drop my baby girl off for the day and will do it through tears just as I sit and type this through tears.
That means I have 4 more weeks of seeing every smile, every tear, every blink and every everything my darling little girl emits.
I'm so torn on how I feel about going back to work. I know I am a better parent and wife when I work. I'm more balanced when I work. I get to go out of mom and wife mode for a little bit and turn into a little bit of different person. But at the same time, I know I will likely miss the first steps with Sasha, just like I did with Dylan. It was heartbreaking when Dave called me one day after picking D up from daycare and told me he had finally taken a couple of steps. I know I might miss the first word.
In 4 weeks I will no longer be there to rock her to sleep for naps and will no longer be there when she wakes up. In 4 weeks I will no longer nurse her throughout the day and feel her skin against mine. I will feel the cold hard plastic of breast pump cones instead. I won't be able to watch those beautiful eyelashes while she eats and watch them flutter in that yummy place between sleep and awake. I will watch the level on the bottle to make sure I pump enough for her to have milk for the next day. I won't get the smiles throughout the day which she gives me when she locks eyes with me. The smiles only I get. She smiles at other people, but those smile are a little bigger and brighter for me. The promise of that smile and the smile of her darling brother will get me through my day.
In 4 weeks I will have to hear about her days rather than live them. I will have to learn about my daughter's new accomplishments from another person rather than experience them myself.
In 4 weeks, I will drop my baby girl off for the day and will do it through tears just as I sit and type this through tears.
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
2 Months
I won't lie, the last 2 months have been very trying. Sasha doesn't like sleep, she doesn't like to lay down on the floor, she doesn't really like her crib.
However, no matter what, the last 2 months have also been fantastic as I watch a new person take shape before my very eyes. And, since I am always to be in the room with the little babe, my eyes are on her all the time. Her best feature is her smile. When she smiles she is completely lit up from within. It's as if the sun is literally shining on me through her.
She's definitely a different baby than Dylan was. Dylan loved to lounge on his own and stretch out. Sasha loves to be held and cuddles in so close I feel like she is going to make her back inside of me. She isn't a big fan of sleep during the day and she fights sleep like crazy. The only somewhat easy way to get her to sleep is to rock her then hold her in tight for almost an hour. Then, and only then, can we even dare to put her down to sleep for the night. Thankfully, then she sleeps.
I have spent a lot of time over the last two months thinking about what it means to have a daughter. Hoping I have with her what I have with my own mother. Hoping and dreaming that I will be close with my daughter.
I hope I will be the one she confides in the first time she kisses a boy, the first time she falls in love, the first time her heart is broken and all the other firsts along the way. I hope I'll be self aware enough during those times to remember how it feels and to remember how I didn't want to hear not to get too excited about the love, or that the heartbreak will end. I hope to remember that all I wanted was for someone to listen and be just as excited as I was or cry along side me. And, when or if she asks, I hope the have the courage to do something my own mother never did - to share my own experiences. The good, the bad, and the VERY ugly to help her learn about life.
I hope I have the courage to be honest with her when she asks me the hard questions. The questions that make me relive my past or reveal my pre-mom self to her. What was your first love like? Have you ever done drugs? When did you lose your virginity? What are your regrets in life? And when she asks me the toughest question of all , "What should I do?" I hope I have the strength to guide her to discover the answer on her own rather than just giving her the answer.
However, no matter what, the last 2 months have also been fantastic as I watch a new person take shape before my very eyes. And, since I am always to be in the room with the little babe, my eyes are on her all the time. Her best feature is her smile. When she smiles she is completely lit up from within. It's as if the sun is literally shining on me through her.
She's definitely a different baby than Dylan was. Dylan loved to lounge on his own and stretch out. Sasha loves to be held and cuddles in so close I feel like she is going to make her back inside of me. She isn't a big fan of sleep during the day and she fights sleep like crazy. The only somewhat easy way to get her to sleep is to rock her then hold her in tight for almost an hour. Then, and only then, can we even dare to put her down to sleep for the night. Thankfully, then she sleeps.
I have spent a lot of time over the last two months thinking about what it means to have a daughter. Hoping I have with her what I have with my own mother. Hoping and dreaming that I will be close with my daughter.
I hope I will be the one she confides in the first time she kisses a boy, the first time she falls in love, the first time her heart is broken and all the other firsts along the way. I hope I'll be self aware enough during those times to remember how it feels and to remember how I didn't want to hear not to get too excited about the love, or that the heartbreak will end. I hope to remember that all I wanted was for someone to listen and be just as excited as I was or cry along side me. And, when or if she asks, I hope the have the courage to do something my own mother never did - to share my own experiences. The good, the bad, and the VERY ugly to help her learn about life.
I hope I have the courage to be honest with her when she asks me the hard questions. The questions that make me relive my past or reveal my pre-mom self to her. What was your first love like? Have you ever done drugs? When did you lose your virginity? What are your regrets in life? And when she asks me the toughest question of all , "What should I do?" I hope I have the strength to guide her to discover the answer on her own rather than just giving her the answer.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)