If I can teach her one thing...

...it's to believe the words in this poem pertain to her.

Phenomenal Woman by Maya Angelou
Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman

Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Brotherly Love

This morning Sasha followed Dylan into his room while they were getting ready for the day. She said "Mommy" in my general direction right after I closed the bedroom door for some privacy.

Dylan: Sasha, I'm not Mommy.
S: HAHA, you're mommy!
D: I'm not mommy.
S: You're a baby!
D: You. Out of here.
And he calmly walks her out of his room.

Ah, kids.

Dylan Update

Dylan has had a big summer. He has learned how to ride his bike without training wheels and he can *almost* tie his shoes. He can also read even better than when he left kindergarten.

He's grown up this summer. He still has a way to go in the maturity department, but he's growing up. And still the sweetest kid ever.

The other day he was playing his DS when he wasn't supposed to. Dave and I were both a bit upset with him. I explained that we were disappointed because he did not listen to the rules. He said he forgot. I confirmed that it was ok but please remember next time.

FF to the next morning.

Dylan to Dave: Daddy, are you still mad at me?

Dave: I wasn't mad, not a little disappointed and frustrated.

Dylan: I'll remember the rules.

To me, as I am leaving the house: Mommy, I'm sorry I didn't remember the rules last night. I do better and remember next time.

Seriously, could he possibly be a better kid?

Fashionista

Sasha likes dresses. Not just any dresses, party dresses. They must twirl, too.

Since her party dresses tend to be on the pricey side, we aren't big fans of her wearing them to day care where she frequently sits in the dirt. The dresses are mainly reserved for weekend wear. Last weekend I decided she WOULD wear some cute capri pants and the matching T. We'd had the outfit all summer and I love it. After wrestling the outfit on to her, Sasha proceeded to throw a tantrum. Foot stomping, tears streaming tantrum. During said tantrum she said the following:

I don't wuv it! It's too plain!!! Let's do pink!!!

This mantra was repeated a number of times. "Pink" is her favorite little party dress. She finally let up and wore the pants. Oye.

The week before she took a look at the top she was wearing and proclaimed: I don't yike this. This is not good fo' Sasha.

God help me in 10 years.

I'm Back

Man, I have been a crappy blogger.  I constantly go back on and forth on blogging regularly and just blogging when I am compelled to say something.  I’m thinking I need to go to regularly as I haven’t found I have a lot to say, lately.  

The kids are awesome.  Sasha is pretty much 2 going on 22 and Dylan continues to develop intellectually and emotionally as well.  I still worry about him but that will never change.  I will always worry about him more.  I have no doubt in my mind that the girl will plow ahead no matter what.  

A few really fun things have happened recently.  Dylan is finally getting the whole 2-wheeler thing.  We’re nowhere near the point of heading out for family bike rides, but he’s getting there.  His reading also continues to improve even though it’s summer.  I thought academic skills were supposed to slide in the summer?  Sasha’s vocabulary is expanding at a rate I didn’t know existed.  The other night she proclaimed her garlic bread was awesome.  Hm, ok.  She is also a big fan of saying “I don’t yike it.” or the even stronger “I don’t wuv it.”  She cracks us up.  We have listed our house and finally, I got a job.

I’m ecstatic to be working again.  I’ve said it before and I will repeat, I’m a more balanced person when I work.  I have found a position, or rather it found me, that seems to be a great blend of being what I have always loved about being in account service and eliminating what I was starting to hate.  We’ll see how it goes but I am very hopeful for the future.

Holding Them Close and Letting Go

My heart hurts tonight. Last night was Dylan's school picnic. I watched children run off in pairs left and right. I watched my child watch from the outside. There was one little girl who repeatedly said hello to him, but that was it. Tonight he told me no one ever picked him, all year, to be their helper for passing out bday treats. That he doesn't have any best friends at school. This is the only time he has ever lamented about his friends, or lack there of, at school. The first time one of my fears for him, related to kindergarten, was realized. Dylan has a heart of gold and is a truly wonderful, sweet child. I think it might be holding him back a bit.

I want my child to have friends. I want him to make connections in childhood that will last a lifetime. I want him to have what I didn't have and always longed to have. I want him to have the security that comes with having some friends you can count on. Friends who you know have your back.

I have spent the majority of my life with a feeling of not belonging. Always feeling like I am on the outside. Close enough to know what I'm missing, but far enough away that it is out of reach. I know the pain of being excluded, still experience it all the time. And, although that pain taught me a lot, I think I would have turned out just fine with fewer lessons. It's a big reason I am the way I am today. If we have are having friends over and other friends ask what we are doing, they will automatically be invited to join in the fun. I don't ever want anyone to feel excluded or unwanted. I certainly don't want my child to feel that. Ever. I know he will. I know Sasha will, too.

When I was pregnant, one of the few things I loved about the experience is that no matter where I was, my baby was with me. I was protecting my child at all times. No one could get to my baby without going through me. The older they get, the less of a barrier I present. The less I can protect. The more I want to keep them close and never let go. But I have to let go. And that's the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life.

thinking again

I had a wonderful coffee date with a former colleague/friend today. She's developing a fabulous business which I hope takes off for her. As we spoke, we did a little collaborating and the juices in my brain started flowing again. I left energized. Energized by someone valuing my ideas and input. Energized by the fact that I have ideas and input to contribute. My brain still works after all.

I didn't realize how much I missed that type of exchange. How much I missed pulling from the parts of my brain which aren't used in my "mom life."

We also discussed my love of writing and how I really don't do it enough. I mentioned a goal I have had for a while and have done nothing to achieve. I would like to write more. Pick topics at random, think about them and write down my thoughts. Form opinions in writing. Organize the randomness in my head into something cohesive and meaningful. I should really get on that.

2 Year Stats

Height: 36.25" (97%)
Weight: 28lbs 4oz. (70%)

Development: Couldn't be better.