Monday, December 17, 2007

When mom's attack - update

About a week ago, a mom verbally assaulted my child. I was so angry I left the party. After most people had gone, 3 women spoke to the crazy mom about her behavior. They explained how inappropriate it was and she simply stated she reacted the way she would with her own children. Sad. It seemed they finally made her understand she was wrong after a while. At the end of her friends talking to her, she said she was going to call me. My friend who hosted told me this. The week went by and there was no phone call.

This morning, we took the baby to get her ears rechecked after her diagnosed-at-2-am-in-ER ear infection from 2 weeks ago. As we are waiting to be seen, who should walk into the office - the yelling mom. I was so stunned to see her there. She immediately muttered an apology to me and then apologized to Dylan. Again, she repeated she just did what she does with her own kid. Sad, sad, sad. The apology to me was not sufficient. She says she will call. I wonder if she will.

In brighter new, my BFF is coming for a visit Saturday-Tuesday with her hubby and new baby girl. I can't wait to meet her little bundle and to spend some time with the girl who knows me better than anyone.

Sunday, December 09, 2007

When Moms Attack

I don't think I have ever been as angry at anyone as I am at an acquaintance this evening.

I was at a Hanukkah party tonight with both kids. There were no dads present - it was a mom and kids party. We were all hanging out and suddenly heard one of the little (almost 2) kids crying. None of us saw what happened but she wasn't on the floor, she wasn't bleeding or otherwise, visibly, hurt. Her mother swooped in and took her away. The mother returned shortly thereafter and proceeded to YELL at my son that he should never, never touch the other child because she is a baby. We're talking full-on finger wagging yelling. I was sitting about 10 feet away with my own baby and was stunned.

The mother walked away and another woman at the party looked at me and said, "well that was uncalled for." And she was right. I immediately called Dylan over and he let me know the child came over to the kitchen set he was playing with and he pushed her. I know there is NO WAY he pushed her hard since she is little and she didn't even fall. We discussed how that's not ok, etc.

I was shaking. I was stunned not only at the way my child was spoken to, but by the fact that I didn't really do anything. I didn't even talk to the mother at the end of the night. I wanted to pull her aside and get in her face as she got in my child's. But I was on my own and couldn't leave my children to do so. I didn't want to make a scene. I didn't want to cause any more stress than there already was because of her behavior. Several of this woman's close friends were at the party and they were all appalled by her behavior.

I'm not blind. I know my child's behavior isn't always perfect. He frequently takes toys away from other kids instead of having a conversation about sharing. But we're working on it. I don't expect other parents to turn a blind eye to other children's behavior towards their own child. But there are appropriate ways to handle it. SCREAMING in a child's face is not an appropriate behavior. EVER, much less when it's someone else's child.

I left the party shortly after all this happened. Everyone knew I was angry. I was so angry I was shaking. But I didn't want to cause a scene and I knew I was incapable of having a calm conversation at that moment. So I chose to rise above and leave. I chose to be the better, bigger person and not repeat undesirable behavior.

As I was leaving, the hostess (D's best friend's mom) asked if I was going to say anything. I told her I couldn't and she said she would. I'm curious to hear how that conversation goes.

I still want to deck the woman who yelled at my kid, but we managed to turn it into a lesson about how it feels to be yelled at by someone. And for that, I'm a good mom.