Seriously?

"Seriously, Daddy, you're wearing green? You look like Steve from Blues Clues." - Dylan

I wanna learn...

Sasha while watching a contemporary routine on So You Think You Can Dance:
I wanna learn to run like that and dance like that and jump like that and be like that.

The Laundry Song

we washin' the clothes we cleanin' the clothes. we washin' the waundwy.

Repeat times infinity.

Boys

Sasha has been sick and Dave and I have been taking turns staying home. On his day, S asked for a manicure. Dave told he she had to wait for mommy. Sasha's response: that's because boys aren't good at manicures. Only girls can give manicures.

Circus Freaks

D: Mommy, when I grow up I want to be a clown and be in the circus.
M: Um, no you can't do that.
D: But I want to be a clown and be in the circus!
M: That can be your hobby.

The Guilt

I was out for happy hour with a friend about a week ago. Dave called when he had picked up the kids and they both demanded to speak with me. Dylan and I spoke then he handed the phone to Sasha. This is the conversation:

S:IIIII MAMA!
M: Hi baby.
S: MAAAMAAAAAA
M: Hi baby.
S: Mama, I 'iss 'oo!
M: You miss me?
S: DA!!! I 'iss 'oo! Mama home!

Unbelievable.

Tonight Dave picked them up as I had gone to the gym. We were both on our way home. Again, I spoke to both kids. Dylan informed me had a great day and then handed the phone to S. Which, by the way, is always accompanied with the declaration: Mommy, Sasha would like to talk to you next.

S: HI Mama!!!
M: Hi baby. How are you?
S: I 'aid, Hi MAMA!
Repeat times 3.

Po's Dumplings

Mommy, do you know what Po [of Kung Fu Panda fame] likes to do with his dumplings?

Rack 'em Up.

Dylan is on a bowling kick thanks to the Wii. We have plastic bowling pins. We bowled a lot this weekend. A friend was over Saturday and they were playing. The following conversation happened:

Fun Auntie Lynne: Rack 'em Rusty.

Dylan: Oh, that was really close but my name is Dylan. (in his best "aren't you so special in the short bus kind of way" voice.)

I take pictures.

Dave: Clara, look, they're sharing an apple!

Clara: Oh, that's adorable.

Dylan: Mommy, would you like to take a picture?

So maybe I take a lot of pictures.

So cool and awesome

ME: Dylan, I love you very much.

D: I love you very, very, very much much much.

ME: I love you very, very, very much much much, too.

D: That's so cool and awesome.

Thanks Diego

Dylan has been into Diego. Diego asks questions like - Does a whale live in the ocean, the forest or the zoo?

This morning D asked me the following:
Do I pee with my hair or my penis?

Thanks Diego.

He's so funny...

I often say that if it wasn't for D, I wouldn't make it through some of my days. He's so damn funny. Don't get me wrong, the girl is getting me through a lot these days. She says MAMA now when she looks at me or wants me. It's absolutely heartwarming.

Dylan is hillarious. He says the goofiest things. He knows a ton of words but doesn't always know what they mean. Tonight I was eating his toes, because, well, I do that when they are clean. He told me to stop copying him. It wasn't the right usage but it was with the right inflections. We giggled, A LOT.

I'm drawing a blank on some of the other gems, but I'm sure they'll come to me. Proof positive I need to do this blogging business more often.

Booooring

Upon finishing Ratatouille:

Dylan, did you like the movie.

Mommy, it was REALLY boring.

And this makes it all worthwhile

Dave took Dylan swimming tonight. On their way Dave called and said, "I just can't compete." He went on to tell that as they were entering the gym the following conversation occured:

You know what Daddy?

What Dylan?

I REALLY love Mommy.

And it's official, the boy couldn't possibly be any sweeter.

Things I say

There are so many things I say over the course of a day that I never, in a million years, thought I would be saying. Or at least not saying them as often as I do.

Here's a list:
Move allegro not adaggio!
Please be a boy, not a puppy. Don't lick me.
Stop touching your penis.
My pony tail is not a handle.
My pony tail is not a train whistle.

There are definitely a lot more but they are escaping me at the moment. Come out of lurkdom and tell me the things you say which you never thought you would.

I'm not cute!

ME: Dylan, you look so cute!

D: I'm nooooot cuuuuute! (in his best whiny voice.)

ME: Why not?

D: Only little girls are cute. Big boys are so handsome.

DUH! Why didn't I think of that!

Another actual conversation

Dylan: Daddy, don't do that again or I will put you in time out.

Dave: Dylan, you can't put me in time out.

Dylan: Daddy, you go SIT IN THE CAR. The POLICE will come and TAKE YOU AWAY!

Actual comments from the boy

I've been keeping a log of the funny things D says. Here are some of the highlights...

"Mommy, my butt is broken. Can you fix it?" - after discovering his pj's had a hole

"Daddy and Ravi and me got busy at the park!" - telling me about a trip to the park

"Pacifiers, they need PACIFIERS!" - when asked what babies need

"Daddy, what's wrong with my sister?" "She's tired." "hmmm, I better go check with mommy."

"After I sleep then I will wake up."

That kid's a trip.