Things are changing in my world. I have started a new job after almost 4 years at my last, we have kindergarten registration for Dylan next week, Sasha is starting to wave/say "ba bye" and she pulled up to a stand the other day.
All these changes are making me spin. I feel like the world is spinning and I'm just standing still while everyhting happens around me. I'm trying to get my head wrapped around so many things right now.
I can't believe next week we go to Dylan's kindergarten registration. I can't believe my little boy will go to school next year. I've written before that I worry about him. He's immature. That's what it comes down to. He is smart as a whip and knows just about everything he is supposed to know when he leaves kindergarten, but he's immature. I worry how this will affect him once he gets to school. How this will affect his interactions with other children. I just worry.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
He's so funny...
I often say that if it wasn't for D, I wouldn't make it through some of my days. He's so damn funny. Don't get me wrong, the girl is getting me through a lot these days. She says MAMA now when she looks at me or wants me. It's absolutely heartwarming.
Dylan is hillarious. He says the goofiest things. He knows a ton of words but doesn't always know what they mean. Tonight I was eating his toes, because, well, I do that when they are clean. He told me to stop copying him. It wasn't the right usage but it was with the right inflections. We giggled, A LOT.
I'm drawing a blank on some of the other gems, but I'm sure they'll come to me. Proof positive I need to do this blogging business more often.
Dylan is hillarious. He says the goofiest things. He knows a ton of words but doesn't always know what they mean. Tonight I was eating his toes, because, well, I do that when they are clean. He told me to stop copying him. It wasn't the right usage but it was with the right inflections. We giggled, A LOT.
I'm drawing a blank on some of the other gems, but I'm sure they'll come to me. Proof positive I need to do this blogging business more often.
Sunday, January 06, 2008
Crying Game...again
About 1 month ago, we made the decision to let our precious baby girl cry it out. It was a spur of the moment decision, as so many parenting decisions seem to be. A decision made out of necessity. She was making me crazy with her late night feedings and a crazy mommy is a bad mommy. Suddenly, she began eating at 1am as well as 4. Ok, I figured she was going through her 6-month growth spurt. Although, my children don't seem to have growth spurts - just constant growth resulting in "off-the-charts" kids. But I digress. I was perfectly ok with letting her eat. As long as she went right back to sleep. But one night, she decided she wasn't going back to sleep. She decided she was going to play. With my nose. With her hands. With my hair. As long as I was holding her she was happy as can be. The moment I put her down she screamed bloody murder. It was clear. She was playing me.
So, after about 35 minutes of trying to put her down, I had had enough. I decided it was time. Time to see what she would do. So we let her cry (I cried too). We went in after 5 minutes and soothed her. Then again after 10. About 2 minutes after we went in the second time, she stopped crying. I was in shock. My daughter is stubborn and the silence stunned me. I should have known better. For the next 30 minutes she tried to ride us out. She cycled - 3 minutes crying, 2 minutes not. I felt like in those 2 minutes of silence she was tapping her wrist where a watch would be and thinking to herself - Alright people, you have exactly 2 minutes to come get me or I shall scream. Again. All in all it took about 45 minutes and she went to sleep.
The next night there were no tears. The next night 25 minutes and the next 15 minutes. Funny thing is, the nights she cried at 1am, she slept through until the morning. The night she didn't, she wanted to eat at 4. This taught me something - she doesn't need to eat at night anymore. Since those first few nights, there have only been about 3 nights when the baby has had to cry at all.
She is now sleeping through the night and falling asleep peacefully as she nurses at bedtime. We are able to, at least occasionally, put her down for a nap without tears. In a nutshell, things have been much better with the wee one. We're still exhausted since she gets up at 6am like clockwork, but things are better.
On the flip side, she seems to be equally as prone to ear infections as Dylan. November 30th we were in the ER with her. She had a double ear infection. She was checked 2 weeks later and she was fine. Xmas Eve, we were at the doc again. Another double ear infection. We have a recheck Friday and I'm sue she'll be fine. I will also be talking to the doctor about a referral to the ENT. We'll see what happens.
So, after about 35 minutes of trying to put her down, I had had enough. I decided it was time. Time to see what she would do. So we let her cry (I cried too). We went in after 5 minutes and soothed her. Then again after 10. About 2 minutes after we went in the second time, she stopped crying. I was in shock. My daughter is stubborn and the silence stunned me. I should have known better. For the next 30 minutes she tried to ride us out. She cycled - 3 minutes crying, 2 minutes not. I felt like in those 2 minutes of silence she was tapping her wrist where a watch would be and thinking to herself - Alright people, you have exactly 2 minutes to come get me or I shall scream. Again. All in all it took about 45 minutes and she went to sleep.
The next night there were no tears. The next night 25 minutes and the next 15 minutes. Funny thing is, the nights she cried at 1am, she slept through until the morning. The night she didn't, she wanted to eat at 4. This taught me something - she doesn't need to eat at night anymore. Since those first few nights, there have only been about 3 nights when the baby has had to cry at all.
She is now sleeping through the night and falling asleep peacefully as she nurses at bedtime. We are able to, at least occasionally, put her down for a nap without tears. In a nutshell, things have been much better with the wee one. We're still exhausted since she gets up at 6am like clockwork, but things are better.
On the flip side, she seems to be equally as prone to ear infections as Dylan. November 30th we were in the ER with her. She had a double ear infection. She was checked 2 weeks later and she was fine. Xmas Eve, we were at the doc again. Another double ear infection. We have a recheck Friday and I'm sue she'll be fine. I will also be talking to the doctor about a referral to the ENT. We'll see what happens.
Monday, December 17, 2007
When mom's attack - update
About a week ago, a mom verbally assaulted my child. I was so angry I left the party. After most people had gone, 3 women spoke to the crazy mom about her behavior. They explained how inappropriate it was and she simply stated she reacted the way she would with her own children. Sad. It seemed they finally made her understand she was wrong after a while. At the end of her friends talking to her, she said she was going to call me. My friend who hosted told me this. The week went by and there was no phone call.
This morning, we took the baby to get her ears rechecked after her diagnosed-at-2-am-in-ER ear infection from 2 weeks ago. As we are waiting to be seen, who should walk into the office - the yelling mom. I was so stunned to see her there. She immediately muttered an apology to me and then apologized to Dylan. Again, she repeated she just did what she does with her own kid. Sad, sad, sad. The apology to me was not sufficient. She says she will call. I wonder if she will.
In brighter new, my BFF is coming for a visit Saturday-Tuesday with her hubby and new baby girl. I can't wait to meet her little bundle and to spend some time with the girl who knows me better than anyone.
This morning, we took the baby to get her ears rechecked after her diagnosed-at-2-am-in-ER ear infection from 2 weeks ago. As we are waiting to be seen, who should walk into the office - the yelling mom. I was so stunned to see her there. She immediately muttered an apology to me and then apologized to Dylan. Again, she repeated she just did what she does with her own kid. Sad, sad, sad. The apology to me was not sufficient. She says she will call. I wonder if she will.
In brighter new, my BFF is coming for a visit Saturday-Tuesday with her hubby and new baby girl. I can't wait to meet her little bundle and to spend some time with the girl who knows me better than anyone.
Sunday, December 09, 2007
When Moms Attack
I don't think I have ever been as angry at anyone as I am at an acquaintance this evening.
I was at a Hanukkah party tonight with both kids. There were no dads present - it was a mom and kids party. We were all hanging out and suddenly heard one of the little (almost 2) kids crying. None of us saw what happened but she wasn't on the floor, she wasn't bleeding or otherwise, visibly, hurt. Her mother swooped in and took her away. The mother returned shortly thereafter and proceeded to YELL at my son that he should never, never touch the other child because she is a baby. We're talking full-on finger wagging yelling. I was sitting about 10 feet away with my own baby and was stunned.
The mother walked away and another woman at the party looked at me and said, "well that was uncalled for." And she was right. I immediately called Dylan over and he let me know the child came over to the kitchen set he was playing with and he pushed her. I know there is NO WAY he pushed her hard since she is little and she didn't even fall. We discussed how that's not ok, etc.
I was shaking. I was stunned not only at the way my child was spoken to, but by the fact that I didn't really do anything. I didn't even talk to the mother at the end of the night. I wanted to pull her aside and get in her face as she got in my child's. But I was on my own and couldn't leave my children to do so. I didn't want to make a scene. I didn't want to cause any more stress than there already was because of her behavior. Several of this woman's close friends were at the party and they were all appalled by her behavior.
I'm not blind. I know my child's behavior isn't always perfect. He frequently takes toys away from other kids instead of having a conversation about sharing. But we're working on it. I don't expect other parents to turn a blind eye to other children's behavior towards their own child. But there are appropriate ways to handle it. SCREAMING in a child's face is not an appropriate behavior. EVER, much less when it's someone else's child.
I left the party shortly after all this happened. Everyone knew I was angry. I was so angry I was shaking. But I didn't want to cause a scene and I knew I was incapable of having a calm conversation at that moment. So I chose to rise above and leave. I chose to be the better, bigger person and not repeat undesirable behavior.
As I was leaving, the hostess (D's best friend's mom) asked if I was going to say anything. I told her I couldn't and she said she would. I'm curious to hear how that conversation goes.
I still want to deck the woman who yelled at my kid, but we managed to turn it into a lesson about how it feels to be yelled at by someone. And for that, I'm a good mom.
I was at a Hanukkah party tonight with both kids. There were no dads present - it was a mom and kids party. We were all hanging out and suddenly heard one of the little (almost 2) kids crying. None of us saw what happened but she wasn't on the floor, she wasn't bleeding or otherwise, visibly, hurt. Her mother swooped in and took her away. The mother returned shortly thereafter and proceeded to YELL at my son that he should never, never touch the other child because she is a baby. We're talking full-on finger wagging yelling. I was sitting about 10 feet away with my own baby and was stunned.
The mother walked away and another woman at the party looked at me and said, "well that was uncalled for." And she was right. I immediately called Dylan over and he let me know the child came over to the kitchen set he was playing with and he pushed her. I know there is NO WAY he pushed her hard since she is little and she didn't even fall. We discussed how that's not ok, etc.
I was shaking. I was stunned not only at the way my child was spoken to, but by the fact that I didn't really do anything. I didn't even talk to the mother at the end of the night. I wanted to pull her aside and get in her face as she got in my child's. But I was on my own and couldn't leave my children to do so. I didn't want to make a scene. I didn't want to cause any more stress than there already was because of her behavior. Several of this woman's close friends were at the party and they were all appalled by her behavior.
I'm not blind. I know my child's behavior isn't always perfect. He frequently takes toys away from other kids instead of having a conversation about sharing. But we're working on it. I don't expect other parents to turn a blind eye to other children's behavior towards their own child. But there are appropriate ways to handle it. SCREAMING in a child's face is not an appropriate behavior. EVER, much less when it's someone else's child.
I left the party shortly after all this happened. Everyone knew I was angry. I was so angry I was shaking. But I didn't want to cause a scene and I knew I was incapable of having a calm conversation at that moment. So I chose to rise above and leave. I chose to be the better, bigger person and not repeat undesirable behavior.
As I was leaving, the hostess (D's best friend's mom) asked if I was going to say anything. I told her I couldn't and she said she would. I'm curious to hear how that conversation goes.
I still want to deck the woman who yelled at my kid, but we managed to turn it into a lesson about how it feels to be yelled at by someone. And for that, I'm a good mom.
Friday, November 30, 2007
Beat
I have been working almost constantly over the course of the last week. Actually taking a very brief break right now to post. I literally fell asleep working on a presentation last night. It's sad, really. I'm pretty much in the same place tonight as well. Must. get. some. sleep. soon.
And with that, NaBloPoMo is officially over.
And with that, NaBloPoMo is officially over.
Thursday, November 29, 2007
One More Day...
After tonight, only one more day of posting before I can take a little break. It will be nice to write when I want to, not just because I have to. It will be nice not to have the pressure of this on top of all the other pressures.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Blocked
I've been having a tough time finding things to write about lately. It's actually a really good thing. I find the happier I am the tougher it is to find things to write about. It's a lot easier to write about being down than happy. So, here's to the writer's block sticking around for a bit.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Monday, November 26, 2007
Seriously?
I was looking for something mindless to watch while catching up on some work tonight and happened upon "My Super Sweet 16" on MTV. This is the most ridiculous show out there. If you don't know the premise, here it is - for 30 minutes we get to look into the life of some over privileged brat planning her sweet 16 party. We're talking about parties that cost in excess of $100K. Seriously?
Why on earth, no matter how much money you make, would you think it is appropriate, not to mention necessary, to allow your child to spend that much on a 16th birthday party. Add to that a luxury vehicle of their choice and you get the most obnoxious show out there.
What do these parents think they're teaching their children? What are they doing besides instilling a sense of entitlement? A sense of entitlement that will stay with them throughout their lives and only be a disservice to them. We've all known people like this - and usually they end up learning a very hard lesson.
Why on earth, no matter how much money you make, would you think it is appropriate, not to mention necessary, to allow your child to spend that much on a 16th birthday party. Add to that a luxury vehicle of their choice and you get the most obnoxious show out there.
What do these parents think they're teaching their children? What are they doing besides instilling a sense of entitlement? A sense of entitlement that will stay with them throughout their lives and only be a disservice to them. We've all known people like this - and usually they end up learning a very hard lesson.
Sunday, November 25, 2007
NaBloPoMo Day 25
It has been an incredibly long weekend and in some ways I'm very happy it's over. On the other hand, I really wish I had one more day to do nothing. Or actually, to do a lot. I have so many things to do in this house and no time to do them. Oh well, maybe it will all get done at some point. That's all I have the energy for at this point.
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Still Kicking
Amazingly, we're all still alive in our house. I haven't killed anyone, yet. I always hoped I would have the type of in-laws my parents are - as confirmed by my husband. In-laws who love and accept their child's spouse as their own. In-laws who would love my children and want nothing more than to spend time with them. In-laws who would be thrilled to see their son with someone who adores him and makes him happy. Unfortunately, that's not what I got.
What I got is in-laws who think they are the center of the universe and see nothing wrong with trying to watch "Dirty, Sexy Money" in front of a 4-year-old. In-laws who would rather go shopping than hang out with their grandkids. In-laws who hate me because I'm not their version of perfect. Because I have an opinion and my husband respects me. Because my children come first and I refuse to move the kids down in the ranks to allow us to go to the mall or out to breakfast.
We have tried to make things go smoothly with them. To meet them 3/4 of the way on a spectrum we can't even define. We try and we have come to accept the fact that things will never be more than superficial with them and that's the way it is. It's unfortunate.
So while the situation with my in-laws sucks, I did get their son who I love in spite of them. I got a man who sees their flaws and their mistakes and is determined not to repeat them. A man who is aware of the impact of his upbringing. A man who loves his children and wife and would do anything for us. I got a good man who has shitty parents.
What I got is in-laws who think they are the center of the universe and see nothing wrong with trying to watch "Dirty, Sexy Money" in front of a 4-year-old. In-laws who would rather go shopping than hang out with their grandkids. In-laws who hate me because I'm not their version of perfect. Because I have an opinion and my husband respects me. Because my children come first and I refuse to move the kids down in the ranks to allow us to go to the mall or out to breakfast.
We have tried to make things go smoothly with them. To meet them 3/4 of the way on a spectrum we can't even define. We try and we have come to accept the fact that things will never be more than superficial with them and that's the way it is. It's unfortunate.
So while the situation with my in-laws sucks, I did get their son who I love in spite of them. I got a man who sees their flaws and their mistakes and is determined not to repeat them. A man who is aware of the impact of his upbringing. A man who loves his children and wife and would do anything for us. I got a good man who has shitty parents.
Friday, November 23, 2007
Question of the day?
What's more important - spending the day with grandchildren you see 3 times a year or shopping at the Mall of America? The answer seems obvious, doesn't it?
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Thanks
I spend a lot of time bitching about the things I don't like about life while there are a great many things I am thankful for in life.
Here's a brief list:
2 amazingly wonderful children
1 great husband
my friends
family
a roof over my head
clothes on my back
food on my table.
We had a wonderful dinner this evening at which 13 people managed to consume a 20 pound turkey. Now that's a compliment to the cook (me!).
Here's a brief list:
2 amazingly wonderful children
1 great husband
my friends
family
a roof over my head
clothes on my back
food on my table.
We had a wonderful dinner this evening at which 13 people managed to consume a 20 pound turkey. Now that's a compliment to the cook (me!).
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Biting my Tongue
Anytime "family" visits it's a true exercise in biting my tongue. It's not easy, but it's something I have learned to do very well. Keep the peace for the greater good. Shut up so there aren't any fights. I wonder how much longer I can keep doing it?
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
a loss
I'm at a loss for words tonight and I don't find myself in that position very often. For some reason I have a mental block right now and I just can't get the thoughts in my head to turn into words on a screen. If feels like a dam which is about to be broken. I'm almost afraid of what will come out when it breaks.
Monday, November 19, 2007
Gobble Gobble
We host Thanksgiving at our home every year. The number of attendee ranges from 13-18 and I make every drop of food on the table. Every year I add something to menu. A new side or salad. Change the way I prepare the turkey ever so slightly. This year, I've done none of this. This year I am making all my tried and true recipes.
Most years, I anticipate Thanksgiving and worry about getting everything on the table in time. This year, I really don't care. I'm not nervous,I'm not anxious. I'm rather ambivalent. This year, I just want to get it over with and move on.
Most years, I anticipate Thanksgiving and worry about getting everything on the table in time. This year, I really don't care. I'm not nervous,I'm not anxious. I'm rather ambivalent. This year, I just want to get it over with and move on.
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Whilrwind
Every weekend is a whirlwind. We don't intend for it to be, but it ends up being one. I don't know why. I don't know why we seem incapable of just staying in and hanging out at home. Not leaving the house for a day. It would sure as hell help me get some stuff done around the house. But no, we have to run around all weekend every weekend.
ugh.
ugh.
Saturday, November 17, 2007
Friday, November 16, 2007
A birth story
6 months ago my baby girl came into our world. I remember everything about that day. It was Wednesday May 16. I had my regular OB appointment Tuesday. I was ready to meet my baby and ready not to be pregnant anymore. We made an appointment for me to be induced May 21. 4 days before my due date. I left work that day elated that an end to pregnancy was in sight. I told everyone I would see them the next day.
I woke at 2:15 am with very distinct labor pains. I knew what was happening but decided to wait a bit. I started timing the contractions. Like clockwork they were coming every 5 minutes and lasting about a minute. They were worse than with D. I felt them in my back as well as my abdomen. I continued to time the contractions and watch the clock until about 3:30 when I decided it was time to wake Dave. I told him I was in labor and he bolted awake. I called the doctor and as soon as I said this wasn't my first baby, the on call doc told me to go to the hospital. We called my parents to come over and take care of D. While we waited for them Dave took a shower and I got some last minute things together and pulled on some clothes.
We got to the hospital around 4:30 or 5. By this point we were about half way there. I told the nice nurses I didn't want any drugs and they started monitoring me. I got moved to a room and continued laboring away. Contractions were only about 3 minutes apart.
Around 8:30 my OB came in to see me and broke my water. I was about 6.5cm dilated. I asked how long she thought it would be. She said I'll have a baby in an hour. That was music to my ears. I had been in back labor for over 6 hours without a drop of medication. 45 minutes later it was almost time to push. My doctor came back in and we started preparing for the big event. When it came time to push, she entered the world much like her brother before her. With Dave on one side of me and my mom on the other. I pushed for 5 minutes, which was probably two contractions, and she arrived. I was told she was a girl and I think the tears started streaming immediately. She didn't cry upon entry like I remembered D crying. I asked why she wasn't crying and the doctor and nurse calmed me and said she would. And she did. That's when the tears really came.
I had a baby girl and she was ok. She had 10 fingers and 10 toes and amazing eyes and gorgeous lips. She nursed immediately, never needed any guidance. She looked like me. She loved to snuggle more than D ever did. Still does.
Anyone who knows me knows my children are my world. I would do anything in the world to protect them and defend them. I love them more fiercely than I ever thought I could love.
My boy is my heart. He is my soul. He made me a mother. He has the sweetest heart and I just want to drink in his essence. He is sensitive like I am. He is stubborn like I am. But he gives up more easily than I do and he is more easy going, like his dad. The love I feel for him is so great that I didn't know if I could ever love another child as much. I actually doubted it for a little bit even after my baby girl was born.
I was wrong. I love her just as much. My girl is more a reflection of myself than I could have ever imagined. Already I can see she will be tenacious. Stubborn. Opinionated. She will challenge me in ways D never will. She will push me to get her way the same way I pushed. She will get mad. She will fight will all her might the same her mama always has. And she will be fiercely loved all along the way.
I woke at 2:15 am with very distinct labor pains. I knew what was happening but decided to wait a bit. I started timing the contractions. Like clockwork they were coming every 5 minutes and lasting about a minute. They were worse than with D. I felt them in my back as well as my abdomen. I continued to time the contractions and watch the clock until about 3:30 when I decided it was time to wake Dave. I told him I was in labor and he bolted awake. I called the doctor and as soon as I said this wasn't my first baby, the on call doc told me to go to the hospital. We called my parents to come over and take care of D. While we waited for them Dave took a shower and I got some last minute things together and pulled on some clothes.
We got to the hospital around 4:30 or 5. By this point we were about half way there. I told the nice nurses I didn't want any drugs and they started monitoring me. I got moved to a room and continued laboring away. Contractions were only about 3 minutes apart.
Around 8:30 my OB came in to see me and broke my water. I was about 6.5cm dilated. I asked how long she thought it would be. She said I'll have a baby in an hour. That was music to my ears. I had been in back labor for over 6 hours without a drop of medication. 45 minutes later it was almost time to push. My doctor came back in and we started preparing for the big event. When it came time to push, she entered the world much like her brother before her. With Dave on one side of me and my mom on the other. I pushed for 5 minutes, which was probably two contractions, and she arrived. I was told she was a girl and I think the tears started streaming immediately. She didn't cry upon entry like I remembered D crying. I asked why she wasn't crying and the doctor and nurse calmed me and said she would. And she did. That's when the tears really came.
I had a baby girl and she was ok. She had 10 fingers and 10 toes and amazing eyes and gorgeous lips. She nursed immediately, never needed any guidance. She looked like me. She loved to snuggle more than D ever did. Still does.
Anyone who knows me knows my children are my world. I would do anything in the world to protect them and defend them. I love them more fiercely than I ever thought I could love.
My boy is my heart. He is my soul. He made me a mother. He has the sweetest heart and I just want to drink in his essence. He is sensitive like I am. He is stubborn like I am. But he gives up more easily than I do and he is more easy going, like his dad. The love I feel for him is so great that I didn't know if I could ever love another child as much. I actually doubted it for a little bit even after my baby girl was born.
I was wrong. I love her just as much. My girl is more a reflection of myself than I could have ever imagined. Already I can see she will be tenacious. Stubborn. Opinionated. She will challenge me in ways D never will. She will push me to get her way the same way I pushed. She will get mad. She will fight will all her might the same her mama always has. And she will be fiercely loved all along the way.
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